


The Spaces Between Us

by PeachyBaby



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soft angst in the beginning, The sweetest shit you’ve ever read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 15:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyBaby/pseuds/PeachyBaby
Summary: It’s an amalgamation of things, the way Roy comforts them, time and time again, always willing to hear their complaints, drying their tears; it’s the way he touches them, sweet but firm, guiding them closer, always closer; its the way he always puts up with their bullshit, even when Danny knows he’d never do it with anyone else





	The Spaces Between Us

The ride up in the elevator is quiet, the hum of electricity and machines working in perfect time makes Adore’s head feel fuzzy and her eyes blur slightly from not focusing on anything but the metallic shine of the doors in front of her. The elevator doors slide open and Adore jolts back to life, shaking her head. The walk to her shared hotel room is short, and the air in the hallways feel stiff and clean, like the sheets she’ll be spending the night on. Adore’s not used to coming back to her room this early, usually she’ll de drag back stage, maybe have a few drinks with the other queens, dance with someone attractive if she’s feeling cute and flirty. But tonight had felt different, her chest feels tight and her head feels floaty, she hadn’t even bothered getting out of drag before making her way to the hotel, she just needed a familiar place to feel somewhat real again. Adore slides her key card into the reader and it flashes green to let her in. She doesn’t expect to see Bianca already back in their shared room, but she shrugs it off, wondering how they had missed each other on the way up.

“Hey, you’re back early,” Bianca says as she mindlessly wipes off her makeup, wig already off and placed on a foam head.

“Yeah, I guess, feeling real tired tonight,” Adore says quietly, scooting past Bianca to sit on the bed, watching silently as Roy removes the last of Bianca from his face. Roy makes eye contact with Adore in the mirror, his brows furrowing, and Adore chuckles, she had always wished she could hear his internal monologue, but sometimes his face did the trick, giving away what he was thinking with just a crinkle of his brow.

“I’m fine, Willow, I promise. Just feeling a little out of it,” Adore says with a smile, Roy smiles fondly at her, wiping the last smear of lipstick from his lips and throwing the wipe in the trash. Adore likes him like this, completely bare faced, hair messy, the only thing left from completing the look was the gown Roy had yet to slip out of.

“Unzip me?” Roy asks, and Adore nods silently, lifting herself up from the bed and moving to stand behind Roy. She finds the zipper and tugs, slowly revealing his tan skin, from the backs of his shoulders to the dimples at the base of his spine, just barely visible from underneath padding and a tight corset. Adore smoothes her fingers across the fabric, and rests her hands against his hips, her head finding its place on his shoulder. Roy smiles at her in the mirror.

“You did fantastic tonight, Bea,” she says quietly, pressing a small kiss tohis shoulder. He slips off the top half of the gown, and Adore begins unlacing his corset. Roy let’s out a filthy moan as the corset becomes loose, Adore tries not to notice how it goes straight to her dick. Bianca lets the bottom half of the gown slump to the ground in a puddle, and Adore removes the corset, letting her fingers dance across the angry red lines it’s left. Bianca peels off her tights, letting the last bit of the illusion fall away, and he is just Roy, standing in his boxers in a puddle of Bianca Del Rio. Adore gives him a short hug from behind

before pulling back and walking back to the bed. Slumping down into the stiff covers, staring at the ceiling. Roy chuckles, and Adore assumes from the rustling that he’s putting on his sleep clothes, and reorganizing the mess on the floor.

“It was a good run today, huh?” Roy chimes, pulling on sweat pants and a t shirt. Adore nods before she realizes he can’t see her, and lets out a small ‘mhmm’. 

“Why’d you come back early?” Adore asks

“Just wanted to be alone,” Roy says, sitting on the bed next to her and crossing his legs. Adore deflates,

“Oh, sorry,” she says instinctively, and Roy watches as insecurity takes over the muscles in her face, stiffening up.

“No, no, you know you don’t count, why else do you think I put up with sharing a room with you?” He says, nudging her thigh with his knee, trying to relieve her of some worry. Adore was acting strange tonight, not her usual peppy post show self.

“Oh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” Adore sounds fragile, and for once, Roy really has no clue how to help. She lets herself sink back into the duvet, letting out a big sigh, too big to go unnoticed. For Adore’s sake, Roy ignores it.

“Hey, how about we get this stuff off of ya, hmm? Before you fall asleep in a full face and wake up with irritated skin,” Roy gets off the bed and walks to the side table where he had left the wipes, and Adore sits up, barely catching the wipes as Roy tosses them to her. He sits back down on the bed and busies himself on his phone, peeking up every once and a while to watch the already blurry lines between Danny and Adore smear and wash off with Bianca branded wipes that make their skin slick with the scent of cucumber. They gently remove the black wig from their head, taking off the wig cap and shaking out their hair until it falls into their face. Being Danny again is a similar feeling to being Adore, but with less pressure to be someone, to be something for a crowd, and Danny deflates. It’s not that Adore is anyone else but Danny in a wig and makeup, but if they’re honest with themself it comes with a persona too, and although almost every time they slip on her outfits and flick the wing on her eyeliner they feel like a fierce bitch, sometimes, it’s overwhelming. Today is one of those rare days.

Danny sighs shakily, and Roy lifts his head from his phone and watches as their lip quivers gently.

“Hey, hey, woah baby,” Roy soothes, his hand moving to cup their face as a tear runs fast down their cheek, before another, and another, until big fat unfiltered tears streak the left over mascara that hadn’t quite been un caked from their lashes. Danny crumples into themself. Roy hoists them onto his lap, and Danny lets out an audible sob, burying their face into his neck.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-“ Danny’s voice is wet and shaky and Roy just rubs their back as they lace their arms around his neck. They sit like that for a while, Roy’s shirt getting little tear stains on the neckline of his shirt, and his hands rubbing circles onto Danny’s back.

As shitty as they feel, it’s nice to be close to Roy like this, tucked safely under his chin, being soothed by his fingers making circles against the thin fabric of their cut up t shirt. Danny takes a shaky breath, trying to slowly calm their tears.

“You wanna talk about it?” Roy asks quietly, pressing a kiss to their forehead. Danny sighs, sniffling, turning their head to rest on Roy’s collarbone.

“I guess it’s just, a lot of pressure, to be someone, to be Adore. Normally it’s something I don’t mind, ya know? I love being Adore, I love being able to perform my songs and dance on stage, but sometimes, it’s a little too much. Too much to put on a good face when you’re really not feeling up for it,” Danny explains, and Roy hums in agreement.

“Sometimes it can be overwhelming to do this for a living,” Roy says quietly, and Danny nods tucking their head firmly under Roy’s chin.

“Just one of those long days, felt good to cry it out,” Danny says softly, and Roy nods in agreement, “Sorry I stained your shirt with mascara though,” Danny whispers with a smile, and Roy just chuckles and presses a kiss against their hair. Danny moves to press a kiss to Roy’s cheek, it lands more on the corner of Roy’s mouth, and Danny feels like it should make things awkward, but instead Roy’s just pulling him closer, until their chest to chest, nose to nose.

“I’m glad I get to do this with you, Bea,” Danny whispers, and they can feel Roy’s breath against the curve of their cheek, their mouth.

They have these moments once and a while, the almost kisses, almost declarations of love, and every time it lights a fire in Danny’s stomach, a combination of anxiety and pure hope. Maybe, maybe, this time.

Roy’s eyes are blown, and Danny wonders how they do this, how they can flip moods so quickly, and then pretend nothing happened.

It takes everything they can muster not to grind into Roy’s lap and whine, beg for the older mans strong hands against their chest.

“Baby,” Roy whispers, almost sadly, carding his hands through Danny’s hair gently, and this time they can’t help but whimper. Roy’s not stupid, he has to know what this is doing to them. It’s an amalgamation of things, the way Roy comforts them, time and time again, always willing to hear their complaints, drying their tears; it’s the way he touches them, sweet but firm, guiding them closer, always closer; its the way he always puts up with their bullshit, even when Danny knows he’d never do it with anyone else-

Roy’s pulling back, and Danny feels panic rising in their throat, this is not going to be another almost, it can’t be.

“Please-“ Danny whines, and a part of them is kicking themselves for sounding so unabashedly needy, “please, fuck-“ and suddenly Danny doesn’t know what to say, after all this time what could they possibly say to make this mean enough, to make him understand.

“Danny, we shouldn’t go there,” Roy sighs, his hands still tangled in the hair at the base of Danny’s head.

“I need you,” Danny whimpers, and they know Roy can’t miss the way their already half hard, and has half a mind to be ashamed, mostly though, the combination of Roy’s hands in their hair, and being in his lap, calling them pretty names, and the thought of him pinning them to the mattress and kissing them senseless, has them reeling, floating in between horny and confused.

“Roy,” Danny says, and his eyes drift back to them, “are we gonna pretend this doesn’t mean something?” Danny tries to hide the crack in their voice but fails. This time Roy’s sadness is so clear on his face, Danny almost wishes they couldn’t tell. Didn’t know Roy like the back of their own hand.

“Of course it means something,” he whispers, and Danny wants to cry.

“Then please, stop over thinking this,” Danny asks softly, and Roy’s face falls

“You’re still young, Danny, you’ve got so much more life to live and things to discover, I don’t want to be another thing holding you down-“ Danny interrupts him with a frown

“You have never held me down, not once, you’ve always made me feel like I deserved to live and learn and be exactly who I am. And who I am, is someone who wants you, right now, and yesterday, and tomorrow, and until you don’t want me anymore,” Danny tries to keep their voice from cracking and fails, can feel the love rise in their throat, choking on it.

“I’ll always want you,” Roy sighs, letting his thumb trace the outline of Danny’s cheekbone, over their lips, and their chin, the bridge of their nose, over their closed eyes. “I’ve always wanted you, baby, of course I have,” Roy’s voice is so soft, and there is no trace of the brash woman he paints on almost every day, no well timed jokes, or well meaning fun being poked. Just Roy, with his soft hands and his pretty smile, his kindness and quiet generosity. Like he’s too run out of steam for quick wit, too tired of fighting to brush this off again.

Danny cards his fingers through Roy’s hair, and sighs, lets their foreheads bump together. Danny closes their eyes.

“I love you,” Danny says gently, Roy sighs. Presses a kiss against each eyelid, against their nose and the apple of their cheeks, before pressing a gentle kiss against their lips. It’s chaste, barely there, and it’s the best kiss Danny’s ever had the pleasure of receiving.

“I love you,” Roy whispers against their lips, and Danny smiles. It is not their first declaration, not by a long shot, have exchanged I love you’s and I miss you’s through the phone in the back of every club they’ve ever preformed in. Have said it in taxi cabs and parks and in their beds before going to sleep.

Danny presses a kiss to Roy’s mouth, tentative and sweet, and Roy pulls them impossibly closer, sighing into their mouth. They kiss and the world feels steady for once. Roy threads his hands into Danny’s hair tugging gently and they can’t help but whine into the kiss.

They pull back breathless, eyes blown, and Roy smiles.

 

“I love you,” he says again, soft enough not to break the spell thats settled over their hotel room.

 

“I love you,” Danny says smiling.


End file.
